Italian bloggers in Australia

If you surf some of the blogs in my side-bar you'll see that a group of us English-language bloggers living in Italy have formed a nice little "blog community". I've met only a couple of these bloggers but I feel like I know them so well that I have to remind myself sometimes that these are only cyber-relationships and who knows? That 60 year old British woman with a blog about gardening and Italian cooking who retired to Abruzzo after 40 years working at the post-office in Slough could in fact be a 14 year old Indian boy who goes to international school in Bombay.

A lot of what us expat bloggers do is compare (not always favourably - we love to whinge!) Italy to our home countries, waxing nostalgic about things such as functioning post offices, not having to make multiple trips to clinics and hospitals in order to get prenatal tests done and reasonable drivers. Our main whinging topic? BUREAUCRACY!

As my husband and I (can't help thinking to myself "meeei husband end eeeiii" a la the Queen when I say that!) contemplate possibly relocating in a few years time back to one of our home countries (or possibly to some other exotic location), it's been interesting for me to discover a few Italian bloggers living in Australia who are, obviously, making comparisons in the other direction. It kind of reminds me of reading a travel guide to your hometown- a lot of things which just seem really 'normal' are exotic to Italians living in Australia: touch footy, the jacaranda tree in the University of Sydney quadrangle, rabbits and mixamatosis, food courts, the word "mate", the "spend the kids inheritance" movement (how incredibly un-Italian!). One of my favourite posts is from Christian in Sydney's blog, in which he describes being stopped by a police officer on the highway. After handing over his license, the officer said "Hi Christian, my name is Michael, can you please, hand me your car registration?" It seemed completely normal when I lived in Australia to use first names at all times but in Italy I find myself enquiring before making a phone call whether I should address the person as "Dottore", "Dottoressa", "Avvocato", "Engineer", "Maestro" or "Maresciallo" (and of course introducing myself on the phone at work as "avvocato ___".) Calling a police officer by his first name here in Italy would probably get you arrested just for being cheeky.

For the most part these Italian bloggers are really positive about Australia. Maybe that's because Australia really is that great (which I like to believe) or, possibly, they're just being polite and following the Italian saying (which I find really irritating BTW- if all the Italians I know are whinging about our new fascist mayor or mail being stolen at the post office why can't I? I deal with it too): "don't spit in the plate from which you eat."

Trilingualism?

One of my great regrets is that despite being half Swedish I never learnt to speak Swedish from my dad. Back in the 70s the theory was that children would not learn the primary language properly if they spoke more than one language at home. And I've noticed, also, that kids tend not to learn a second language if their dad rather than their mum is the foreign parent.

Nowadays the pendulum has swung in the other direction and multilingualism is encouraged. I've even heard of people speaking a second language, which was not either of the parents' native language or the host country language, to their child just so that s/he could become bilingual.

So, as Australian-Dutch parents to a child who will be born in Italy, we are toying with the idea of attempting to bring our child up trilingual. She'll speak English with me, Dutch with my husband and Italian at school and outside the house. I assume she'll get more exposure to English than Dutch, though, since Rene and I speak English with eachother at home.

Bilingualism seems to work well for most kids but what about trilingualism? Are we being overly pushy? Will our child have a nervous breakdown in kindergarten? The poor little thing will have to learn three words for every one word her Italian classmates will learn.

Any thoughts? Experiences? Anyone else doing the trilingual thing with their child?

Reason # 82,398 that the birth rate is so low in Italy or how I'm turning into a true Roman

I never thought I'd say something like this but I really miss going to the doctor and doing blood tests, urine tests, other tests right there in the doctor's office. I fondly remember the doctor handing me a pee cup and saying "the bathroom is down the hall, just give the cup to the nurse when you return." Then the nurse would either call me with the results or they'd send me my results a week or so later. This seems like a miracle now.

Why is something this simple not done in Italy? (or at least in Rome?) Here, (as I wrote about in a previous post) I go to the gynaecologist every month, he prescribes a huge list of blood tests, urine tests and other tests (last month the "other" extra-challenging to get done test was an electrocardiogram, this month it's a glucose tests for prenatal diabetes) and I need to go to my GP for the prescriptions for each test (impegnative). Then I need to go to different places all over Rome for the various tests, make appointments or lining up at 8am for each of my tests and of course taking time off work. For urine tests I need to go to a pharmacy and buy my own pee cup before going to ASL. Around 2 weeks later, I go back to each place, take a number and wait in line again to pick up my results (although lately I've been clutching my stomach and saying "I'm pregnant" while cutting the line!) I understand that because of the terrible post here, they can't send the results to me - but in a country with a serious unemployment problem, why can't they hire someone to call in my results by phone or send a fax to my doctor? And why do I (or my husband) need to go back to my GP every 12 days for a new prescription for the heparin injections I need to do every day for the next 6 weeks or so? I guess I need to learn to stop asking "why" about Italian bureaucracy.

Despite the fortitude, map reading skills, precise organisation and sheer physical exercion expected of pregnant women dealing with all of this medical bureaucracy and running all over town every month on public transport, we are at the same time, rather paradoxically, considered 'sick', fragile people who really shouldn't be leaving the house or doing anything for ourselves. Thus, Italian law presumes that all pregnant women will go on maternity leave a full two months before their due date. And if you want to go on leave one month before instead, the onus is on you, the pregnant woman, to prove that you're healthy enough to do it. Forget working until one or two weeks before your due date in order to maximise maternity leave as most of my overseas friends have done! 2 months it is, unless you can jump the bureaucratic hurdles to be "allowed" to work until one month before your due date.

I'm at 7 months now and I knew that in order to work for one more month I had to get a note from my doctor saying that I was healthy enough to work until one month before my due date and take it to INPS, the pensions and maternity leave bureaucracy. So I called my doctor in mid-April and he said that I needed to do a sonogram first but he'd be happy to write the note. I scheduled my sonogram privately for April 30th. Meanwhile, I called the INPS hotline and the person who answered told me I only needed a doctor's note in order to get the permission and "don't worry, there's no deadline and lots of flexibility about getting the paperwork in." So, after the sonogram, I called my doctor again who said he'd be glad to give me the note on the evening of Monday May 5th when he was at the hospital (it was the May 1st "bridge" long weekend). I took the metro, bus and tram to the hospital after work and picked up the note.

The next morning, May 6th, I went to INPS, note in hand (as everyone who lives in Italy knows, bureaucratic offices are only open here in the mornings). When my number was called, I went to the counter:

me: "here is my doctor's note saying that I can work until June 5th (one month before my due date, July 5th).
bureaucrat: "You're going to have to stop working today. This paperwork is one day late and there is absolutely no way we can process it. You should have gotten it in yesterday, May 5th, two months before your due date. Since it's May 6th today it's too late."

My heart sank - I had so much to do before going on maternity leave! Apart from anything else, we were meant to move offices the following day and my desk is piled high with urgent things needing my attention. Also, I'd like to spend most of my maternity leave with my baby rather than sitting at home bored eating bonbons with occasional bureaucratic interludes.

I tried everything - I told them that INPS had misinformed me (he said "everyone knows that the INPS hotline doesn't know anything - they just give out phone numbers!") I burst into tears. I spoke to the manager. Nothing.

They also said I needed a note from my employer stating that the workplace would pose no danger to me or the fetus. Of course they hadn't bothered to tell me this over the phone and HR at my workplace didn't know about it either when I asked them.

So, I did what any Roman would do when faced with this situation. I called my doctor and asked him to write me a new note saying that my due date is July 7th rather than July 5th, thereby giving me another day to go back to INPS with the new doctors note and my employer's statement in hand.

I nervously returned to INPS the next day (May 7) with the new note. No one batted an eyelid and my paperwork was processed.

Reflecting on it, I realise now why Italian pregnant women routinely leave work 2 months before their due date, even without any medical reason to stay home or health problems. It's because it's impossible to work full time and deal with all the medical bureaucracy you have to deal with as a pregnant lady in Italy.
So what are Italian women doing with their 2 months of maternity leave before the baby is born? Spending the time on buses and trains going to hospitals all over Rome to do medical tests, spending hours on hold with medical centers to ask if they perform those tests and if they take appointments, going to the ob/gyn, the GP and the hospital twice every month, going back to the GP for drug prescriptions every 12 days and gathering the huge list of things they need to bring to the hospital for the birth (my list from a large public hospital in Rome includes toilet paper, giant sanitary pads, medical grade gauze squares, baby outfits and nightgowns).

5 things no one tells you about pregnancy

1) That your whole body changes, not just your uterus. I get nose bleeds now and I never used to get them, my hair is thicker and my husband tells me that I even snore "differently."
2) That if you have an innie belly button it almost becomes an outie while you're pregnant. Good bye belly button fluff.
3) That feeling the baby kick is not always a pleasant sensation.
4) That you grow a downy layer of hair over your belly (at least I have - please tell me I'm not a freak!)
5) That not everyone gets morning sickness. I'm one of the lucky ones who didn't.

Liberation Day

I know I'm going to offend some people with this post (and I realise that I'm waaay over simplifying) but so be it...

Bleeding Espresso's recent post on Liberation Day in Italy (April 25, which also just happens to be ANZAC day in Australia) got me thinking. As we all learnt at school and from numerous movies and books, Germany, Italy and Japan formed the Axis alliance during World War Two. They fought AGAINST the Allies (Britain, France, the Soviet Union, the US etc.) eventually losing, much to the relief to Europe's Jews, Poles, Gypsies and others, not to mention the Chinese and many smaller Pacific nations.

Well, I realise that that's the (very) potted version but you get the gist.

So, after WWII, from what I understand, Germany went through a period of "denazification": many Nazi war criminals were tried and hanged/imprisoned, democracy/communism was imposed from above, West German school curricula spent lots of time on fascism and Nazi atrocities and fascism was essentially made illegal- which is how it should be as far as I'm concerned.

In Japan, from what I gather (correct me if I'm wrong!), the Japanese role in initiating WWII in the Pacific, Japanese war crimes and aggression towards other nations was pretty much ignored in school curricula, leading to recent protests in China, a lack of government acknowledgement even 60 years later of wartime atrocities (such as the officially condoned kidnapping and rape by Japanese soldiers of "comfort women" from neighbouring countries) and general ignorance about the war in Japan. I met a young Japanese woman a while back who told me that Australia did not fight in World War Two. I realise Australia is a small, insignificant nation but you'd think they'd at least mention the bombing of Darwin, the Kokoda Trail or the Japanese submarine attacks on Sydney in Japanese schools. If that's what they learn about Australia, then I wonder what they learn about the Rape of Nanking.

Of course everyone twists history in their own way. For example, Americans and Australians don't learn much about the 20-40 million war dead in the Soviet Union and just how crucial Soviet participation was to the Allied victory (basically it wouldn't have happenned without them and Soviet battles such as Stalingrad were much more pivotal to WWII than the more famous in the West Allied landing at Normandy). However, there is remembering things your way on the one hand and there is completely twisting the truth on the other.

So, in my first year in Italy I was intrigued to learn that April 25 is "Liberation Day" in Italy. For a moment there, I was under the impression that maybe, like Holland or France, Italy had actually been on the Allies side at first and, after a brief but brave (in the case of Holland very brief once the Germans flattenned Rotterdam)- stand off with the fascists had surrendered.

But no - that's not true- Italy WAS fascist until 1943 when they were defeated by the Allies and surrendered. In fact Italy under Mussolini virtually invented Fascism (where do you think the Nazis got those shiny boots, bravado and futuristic slogans?) and the Italians were the eager allies of the Nazis during World War Two (and yes, they changed sides at the end when they lost militarily but that doesn't really count, does it?)

So World War Two was a colossal defeat for Italy - the Italians weren't such hot stuff militarily despite their bravado so the defeat came earlier to the Italians than to the Germans and Japanese (1943) but that does not change the fact that Mussolini and fascism were extremely popular in Italy and thousands of Italians died fighting for the fascist, expansionist cause in North Africa, Europe and elsewhere.

So what is there to celebrate on April 25th? Oh yes, the PARTISANS! They were the REAL Italians - not the fascist soluting supporters of Mussolini. Wooops - I forgot - everyone here was always a Partisan, no one fell under Mussolini's spell and all Italians supported the Allies when they came in and "liberated" Italy. So, as has been explained to me many times, April 25 is the day Italians' grandparents were "liberated" from fascism by the Partisans and Allied soldiers.

Sometimes this twisting and turning logic reminds me of my Soviet history studies ten years ago.

So, what happens when a country fails to deal with or acknowledge its past, twisting the truth to cast themselves as winners and heroes? Unfortunately, this is what happens.

Playing the pregnancy card

Being pregnant in Italy means being special. There are very few children here and therefore very few pregnant women. But motherhood is sacred - so as soon as you start to show people start making a fuss of you. Apparently there's even a law on the books here in Italy which says that pregnant women get to jump the queue - not only at medical clinics (where, believe me, the queues can be looong) but also at the supermarket, bank, IKEA etc. I've been telling Rene that he should bring me along whenever he needs to run an errand.

After my wallet was stolen last month I received my new credit card but not my bankomat (debit card) so I went over to the bank on my day off last week to find out what was going on. After jumping the queue (seriously, I didn't ask for this but everyone in the queue waved me ahead), I went up to speak to one of the tellers:

me: I'm here because I never received my bankomat after my wallet was stolen last month.
him: did you receive your PIN number?
me: I think so - I got something from the bank although it might have been the PIN for my credit card
him: (searching through envelopes) Oh, here it is. Your card is here but I can't give it to you as you haven't received your PIN.
me: but I just said I had received my PIN!!!
him: but you said it might be for your credit card - you weren't sure - so I can't give it to you and we'll have to issue another card.
me: (vainly trying to play pregnancy card) but I'm 7 months pregnant and i don't live near the bank - I have to take the bus to get here which is difficult being so heavily with child...
him: well, that's just our policy, maam.

At that moment an older female bank employee came by to speak to the teller and she witnessed the last part of our conversation. She grabbed the envelope and took me over to her desk where she proceeded to give me the card saying "I have two kids - I know what it's like being pregnant. Anything else I can do?"

So a brief and refreshing reprieve from the usual Italian bureaucratic bloody mindedness due to my huge belly. Well, at least it's something.

Obama, the Third Culture Kid

As Peggy Orenstein points out in today's New York Times, America now has, for the first time, a serious biracial presidential candidate reflecting an increasing percentage of biracial Americans in the country as a whole.

Apart from his biracialism, however, what strikes me about Sen. Barack Obama is that he is also a Third Culture Kid, perhaps because I'm one too. He didn't grow up simply biracial in America or black in America. It's more complex than that. He spent ages 6-10 attending local schools in Indonesia and his mother remained in Indonesia after he was 10 married to an Indonesian man. This was an experience which no doubt shaped him and made him feel different from the other kids in his class when he moved back to the U.S. to live with his grandparents.

Growing up, I always knew that I could not run for office (not that I'd want to!) in either Australia or the U.S. due to my funny accent, funny name and murky nationality. In both places, it's ok to have immigrant parents but you have to have a strong American or Australian accent to be accepted as "American" or "Australian" enough to hold high office. And that's one thing which Obama does have - his accent sounds bland and 100% American.

But what Obama does not have is a straight line, easy to explain cultural or national life story like "I'm African American and grew up in Chicago" or "my parents are Italian and I'm from Brooklyn." It takes a while to explain Sen. Obama's white mother, Kenyan father and half Indonesian half sister (with a Chinese-Canadian husband). However, despite this Americans seem willing to listen and take the time to understand. And, whether or not they support him, they seem accept him as an American qualified to run for president.

Now that's a nice thing for a fellow TCK (and future mother of another TCK) to see!